Acting Up

My musings, thoughts, rants, and discoveries. - Scott Maddock

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Location: Redmond, Washington, U.S. Inc. (Formerly U.S.A.)

Back to Blogging

I haven't blogged here since 2012. Why am I making a stab at it again?

I realized two things about social media I wanted to get away from. First was that I was often using it as a journal, which is boring and maybe TMI for those platforms. Secondly I was using it too much for my taste, so that I felt like a tool for marketers rather than using social media as a tool for my ends.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Sleep Away

I've been quiet of late. About the time I got over my cold, I started with a nastier one. Sleep, rehearse, and a little work. I missed a day and a half or work last week. Sixteen hours of sleep a day, and thanks to the cold, really crappy sleep. Sleep for an hour, wake up, go back to sleep. Last night I got my first stretch of more than two hours sleep since last Tuesday, and only the second or third of more than an hour. Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes when the clock said 5:30 am. Four hours sleep without break. I should do that more often.

My sinus infection seems to be lifting, but I had a nasty morning sore throat which quickly calmed down. I still read to the fourth graders today. A silly story, with lots of characters, lots of silly voices. I hadn't tried that before and was pretty nervous, but it went well, especially with the second class. By then I realized the kids were having a little fun, and I had more too. The pictures were a little hard to make out, and I walked around the little cluster a bit with the book, which got them more involved. A really nice surprise this morning. Can't do that every week, but once in a while pictures that need to be seen close up can help out.

My character in the play, which is a bit of a caricature type of guy, has been a challenge. Ironically, while the bug has left me very little time for homework, the constant cycles of going to sleep has helped me do some Meisner type imagery to build a character. I don't want to be a caricature myself. It has helped get the bit of flamboyance I need to find, and is hard for me to do. I'm building hope I can build the character solidly, so his journey into realness works. I don't feel like it has really cracked yet, but it feels within grasp.

The first person I offered a comp to didn't get back to me, so I gave my two comps to my friend Beth and her mom. Sometimes I work hard to track down people for responses, and sometimes not. Now is a 'not' time. Busy at work and with rehearsal, so if someone hasn't got the interest to respond to an invite, move on. I always feel like a bit of a nebbish when I ask someone more than once. I know, I know, people are busy and often forget. I usually figure as much, but when you're run down the nebbish feeling is that much more immediate.

We open on Friday! Line-wise I'm ready. The paraphrasing is less every run, the blocking more solid, the actions starting to feel more organic, and it gets more and more fun. The character work is the biggest need for me. Here's to hoping I find the time and cracks I need.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


On Monday, I turned 40,000 miles on my motorcycle. It'll never be a bike with less than 40,000 miles on it again. I still really like the machine, and expect to get at least another 40,000 miles out of it. Still, I'll never go back.

This morning I had to wait to go to work until the dryer was done. It was a sybaritic pleasure of the first order. It is that irreversible and tangible evidence the Summer of 2006 is really over. It was a terrific Summer, making me look forward to next year all the more. Still, I'll never really go back.

This week w signed a bill giving him authority to torture, ignore habeas corpus, set up military courts in which defendants are stripped of their basic rights. While I'm sure he had his *colonial poodles include verbiage that exonerates him for domestic and war crimes committed before this obscenity was made law. We have surrendered. Given up our principles. Given up the rule of law. Given up liberty for all. Given up fairness.

Instead we have embraced the neo-con vision of a country ruled by the rankest atmosphere of cowardice and discrimination. Other than the obvious looting of our country's wealth, I honestly can't see any motivation for this counter-productive surrendering of the basic principles which once made us admirable. Even if America wakes up, and gets off our collective overfed, undereducated, unproductive, arrogant asses this reign of atrocities will forever be in our history and the fabric of our one-time democratic state. Conceivably, we can return to being a land of the free which embraces courage and honor. Still, we'll never really go back.

*Referring to our senate and house as w's poodles, is for my British friends who see Blair has his nose embedded as deeply in w's nethers as our own lawmakers.

19Oct2006: Added an appropriate YouTube clip. 8 minutes, 30 seconds.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Today was fun. It was a run through rehearsal, with stops. Pretty much everybody is at the same point with the script, which is sweet. The challenge is the chaotic parts, as all of us are a little challenged in the same spots. There's two or three of them, and they feel like they will be fun as Hell.

Yesterday felt like Scott's acting class. Not that I minded, or had trouble taking direction. Was I given lots of direction because I take it well or because I damn well needed it? Both probably. What I enjoy is seeing how quickly last year's training helps get me to new places. What irks me is that I'm not already in those places. Raw honesty? The bad is I know I can do better, and having a full time job (and two back to back colds) makes it a challenge. Not anything the rest of the cast doesn't have to deal with. I'll wallow in my own suckiness, thank you very much. The good is feeling my chops. There's stuff there that comes out which wasn't at my beck and call a year ago. I could have developed it, but it would have taken a long time. Longer than a standard rehearsal cycle. The protective cocoon of the ensemble is gone, but so is the bar we raised for each other. In a way I feel like I'm still in shock from ETI.

Time to get some sleep, so I can do better work tomorrow. G'night friends.

I miss my ETI classmates. This is the first time it has really hit me. Damnit. I hope I see some of them in the next few weeks.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Silent Screams

The maple opens
Spinning brown crippled bird seeds;
What soil will root me?

Drowning in colors
Trapped deep inside my glad heart.
That red hides deepest.

Pains of ivy's pinch,
Joys bursting from daffodils,
Trapped by blood red hearts.

Blooming to the sky,
Rooting in the hallowed earth,
with nothing to show.

Lovely solitude,
Yearns to transcend our beige world,
Flotsam shared with none.


I don't know,

Shit on a shingle.

Discuss? Maybe.

Don't ask.


Friday, October 13, 2006

Dear Dairy

I hurriedly threw together a different marinade this week. I used a bottle of Heineken which had been aging in the fridge since late July. I originally had two, and drank the first the day before starting the elimination diet. I still don't plan to add beer to my diet any time soon, though...

I wanted it to be different than the one I wrote of several weeks back, so no Worcestershire sauce, but still used a bit balsamic vinegar (a low end, rather sweet one). I used a little more salt and some honey, and for some reason set aside the spices I used. Good thing.

I used some olive oil in a pan, set the heat for medium low, and let it set for a while to get nice and hot. I figured to let the oil mildly sear, then covering the pan and allowing the low setting would let it simmer lightly. I'd marinated cut up chicken, and the first batch I cooked I had a little too much oil, which was a challenge to emulsify. The next time I cooked the balance of the chicken, which was a lot more, and used about the same amount of oil. Again it smelled devastating when it was cooking. And tasted as well as the aroma promised, and very buttery. I haven't tried adding dairy, except for some feta, which I'm not too sure about. I still like feta, but it may be something I have to enjoy in moderation. Regular dairy I'm pretty sure is something I'll not be able to use, so I've not even tried adding it back to my diet yet.

I don't know what concatenation in the concoction made for a buttery flavor, but I'll try duplicating it in the next week or two. I was eating late dinners, and figured my pre-dinner nightcap was accentuating the experience. Nope. I'm having some now for lunch. There is a slight worry that adds a little more savor. Not knowing if I'll be able to recreate it, it may be the last time I ever have it. Except for the last two or three left over portions.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Well, I won't have to take the unarmed combat certification test again, as I passed that one last Saturday. I had what felt like the weirdest case of nerves. It wasn't, it was a nasty cold landing. The shallow breathing from the bruised rib and the loss of sleep for the same reason weakened me enough that I got sick. I still feel that with the rib pain and bug I should have passed had I practiced enough. After all, you can't depend on feeling 100% for every performance. I only slept a couple hours that night. The ribs still hurt, my sinuses were plaguing me, and I kept replaying this exchange.

Ajudicator: "How long have you been acting?"
Scott: "About five years."
Ajudicator: "Well, you're coming right along."

I don't know if it was simply friendly chatter, or a really nasty passive-aggressive dig my maternal family would be proud of. It only bothered me that one night. I guess that's not true, or I'd not be mentioning it. It only bothered me a LOT that one night. I've a scene in the show I'm rehearsing where I'm talking about a horribly screwed up audition with a snide auditor, and this interchange will certainly help me work on that scene. I wasn't happy with my performance, and the person in power made me feel a hundred times smaller than I already felt. Perfect for the scene.

The cold has hung on, and I missed work yesterday, and only worked a few hours today. Tomorrow is release night, so when I get tired of working on lines I may be blogging a bit in the wee hours, to get caught up.