How Much Room?
Arggg. Another wretched audition.
I had the weirdest case of nerves, which in turn amplified the normal butterflies. I've had this persistent sore throat for several weeks, which I attribute to a slight scalding and allergies. Whatever it was I felt ill last night long after the audition was over, and pretty cruddy this morning. I put two and two together. I had two chocolate bars I'd eaten over the last few days while I was driving. I remembered I had the same feeling Sunday afternoon and evening after I drove to and from Beth's. More so yesterday after I drove to the audition. They weren't organic, which has me wondering if it as an allergic reaction to something. I've never had a real food allergy, or at least not a systemic one. It better be some additive and not chocolate. I'll just give up chocolate for several days. Damn. I hope the organic stuff is okay. I'll wait until Saturday to try. Maybe Friday...
On the up side the audition was a world better than the last. How many galaxies of worlds will I need to go through? Feeling sick is no excuse. Unless you're at death's door you don't miss a performance, so it is just something you deal with. And some illnesses can actually bring out things you'd missed, though only a crazy person would try to get a productive illness. It doesn't seem to be true for auditions anyway.
I changed more within the monologues. Not nearly enough, but a definite move forward. Much less feeling like I was a grade school reciting in a cavernous gym for a PTA function. It is that kind of nasty echoey room, which brings out those feelings. I auditioned for the same company, Greenstage, for The Skin Of Our Teeth in the same room in December. It didn't bother me nearly so much now that I expected it. It wasn't so bad in the Shakespeare audition I did a couple weeks ago either. Why do so many rehearsal/audition spaces have the same acoustics as a steel pipe?
Added wrinkle. The monologues I picked were both ones I used in class last year. I hadn't worked them as audition pieces before, but they are like old friends. I was forgetting words. And I knew it a line or two ahead of time. I used a different Iago monologue that last time, one I know as well or better.
...
Or failing so, yet that I put the Moor
At least into a jealousy so strong
That judgment cannot cure. ...
...
In my cutting this was the end, and I couldn't remember the word jealousy. I sometimes inadvertently skip "At least" but I've never forgotten "jealousy". Not even when I haven't run the lines for months. I could see the train wreck coming. Part of my mind is racing and thinking, "What the fuck is that mofo'ing word!?"
Did they see my anger (appropriate) as I was trying to remember the approaching wordless word? Or did they see me flailing (not appropriate)? At least I didn't make unintentional weird pauses. My frustration and anger built until I got there, and I spat out the word "frenzy". It worked, almost. There were multiple places like that. Hey I didn't fold and run out of the room crying. No matter how much I wanted to. Butchering Shakespeare in front of people who have been living with him at least twenty years longer is not a happy time.
Maybe it wasn't quite the travesty I thought. They elicited a little chat from me as I was leaving. I do like to chat. Or maybe it was pity. Well, I had no rehearsal conflicts, put down my portable set/prop design and fabrication experience, and I know several people in the company. If that gets me a callback or role, I'm okay with that. Last time I was surprised to see Ken at the audition, but he's directing so I was pretty sure I'd see him this time. It's different when you know the auditor, even casually. Maybe I will get a callback. They saw me just a few months ago, and while my audition may not have seen better from the auditors table they at least know I'm a perniciously persistent pest now.
On the way out I chatted with the stage manager, Steve, whom I know from several productions with Next Step and Exchange Theatre. I avoided the temptation to gripe how I'd crashed and burned and just caught up a bit while I decompressed for the drive home. And speaking of drives home, if I'm out of rehearsal early enough tonight I think I'll watch a spot of the bard tonight. I have about fifteen dvd's and videos to choose from. Tragedy or comedy? Aaron, Iago, Richard III? Bottom, Caliban, Falstaff? All this thought, and with my luck we'll work the scenes in reverse order and it won't matter if I decide.
I had the weirdest case of nerves, which in turn amplified the normal butterflies. I've had this persistent sore throat for several weeks, which I attribute to a slight scalding and allergies. Whatever it was I felt ill last night long after the audition was over, and pretty cruddy this morning. I put two and two together. I had two chocolate bars I'd eaten over the last few days while I was driving. I remembered I had the same feeling Sunday afternoon and evening after I drove to and from Beth's. More so yesterday after I drove to the audition. They weren't organic, which has me wondering if it as an allergic reaction to something. I've never had a real food allergy, or at least not a systemic one. It better be some additive and not chocolate. I'll just give up chocolate for several days. Damn. I hope the organic stuff is okay. I'll wait until Saturday to try. Maybe Friday...
On the up side the audition was a world better than the last. How many galaxies of worlds will I need to go through? Feeling sick is no excuse. Unless you're at death's door you don't miss a performance, so it is just something you deal with. And some illnesses can actually bring out things you'd missed, though only a crazy person would try to get a productive illness. It doesn't seem to be true for auditions anyway.
I changed more within the monologues. Not nearly enough, but a definite move forward. Much less feeling like I was a grade school reciting in a cavernous gym for a PTA function. It is that kind of nasty echoey room, which brings out those feelings. I auditioned for the same company, Greenstage, for The Skin Of Our Teeth in the same room in December. It didn't bother me nearly so much now that I expected it. It wasn't so bad in the Shakespeare audition I did a couple weeks ago either. Why do so many rehearsal/audition spaces have the same acoustics as a steel pipe?
Added wrinkle. The monologues I picked were both ones I used in class last year. I hadn't worked them as audition pieces before, but they are like old friends. I was forgetting words. And I knew it a line or two ahead of time. I used a different Iago monologue that last time, one I know as well or better.
...
Or failing so, yet that I put the Moor
At least into a jealousy so strong
That judgment cannot cure. ...
...
In my cutting this was the end, and I couldn't remember the word jealousy. I sometimes inadvertently skip "At least" but I've never forgotten "jealousy". Not even when I haven't run the lines for months. I could see the train wreck coming. Part of my mind is racing and thinking, "What the fuck is that mofo'ing word!?"
Did they see my anger (appropriate) as I was trying to remember the approaching wordless word? Or did they see me flailing (not appropriate)? At least I didn't make unintentional weird pauses. My frustration and anger built until I got there, and I spat out the word "frenzy". It worked, almost. There were multiple places like that. Hey I didn't fold and run out of the room crying. No matter how much I wanted to. Butchering Shakespeare in front of people who have been living with him at least twenty years longer is not a happy time.
Maybe it wasn't quite the travesty I thought. They elicited a little chat from me as I was leaving. I do like to chat. Or maybe it was pity. Well, I had no rehearsal conflicts, put down my portable set/prop design and fabrication experience, and I know several people in the company. If that gets me a callback or role, I'm okay with that. Last time I was surprised to see Ken at the audition, but he's directing so I was pretty sure I'd see him this time. It's different when you know the auditor, even casually. Maybe I will get a callback. They saw me just a few months ago, and while my audition may not have seen better from the auditors table they at least know I'm a perniciously persistent pest now.
On the way out I chatted with the stage manager, Steve, whom I know from several productions with Next Step and Exchange Theatre. I avoided the temptation to gripe how I'd crashed and burned and just caught up a bit while I decompressed for the drive home. And speaking of drives home, if I'm out of rehearsal early enough tonight I think I'll watch a spot of the bard tonight. I have about fifteen dvd's and videos to choose from. Tragedy or comedy? Aaron, Iago, Richard III? Bottom, Caliban, Falstaff? All this thought, and with my luck we'll work the scenes in reverse order and it won't matter if I decide.
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