Missing Movies
So, it is good to be writing again. With things like participating in a (mostly) failed intervention, having a nasty bout with the flu, it has been a busy time. Or as the alleged Chinese curse says, I've indeed been living in interesting times.
It's been quite a while since I had a drink. I'm not quitting, but I'm certainly on hiatus. After dealing with my Mom's intervention nearly thirty years ago I didn't drink for about fifteen years. Not having my own identity I took on her addiction. Given my family history it ended up being serendipitous, as I didn't drink during my most susceptible years. It's funny, before the last round I'd lost my taste for booze. I was down to a bit less than a shot in my stock and didn't have any plans to restock. With the weight loss I just wasn't enjoying it any longer, probably because my accustomed double was having too much affect.
Funny thing with the flu. Once I got better, or rather less miserable my sleeping habits changed. For nearly ten years I've gone to sleep with a movie in the VCR or DVD player. Something to focus my attention on so I wouldn't toss for hours on end with a thousand thoughts running through my head. Suddenly, I just don't want anything on. I have trouble watching less than stellar movies as I mentioned earlier. Now, I actually want some thoughts to chew on as I go to sleep, and I can actually fall asleep with active thoughts dancing around.
My dreams are richer, and I'm sleeping better. It's funny, because the movie noise used to help with those, and now it detracts. In the last week there was one night where I was keyed up, and setting a movie to play for twenty minutes was just the trick, but the next night I again found the thought of putting on a movie slightly repugnant. Go figure. And I'm writing. I'm writing a bit about how I turned from a kid with the perfect life into a numb adult at age seven. It's really a celebration, and if it ever gets on it's feet I hope it shows the joy not only in those perfect early years, but in the loss of childhood and how it planted the seeds which made me who I am today. Something I am happy about. I still need to be more socialized, but no more than most of my peers, and probable less than most.
Writing though. I'm going to sign up for an original performance workshop. Something I've really wanted to do, but was scared of the very thought...
It's been quite a while since I had a drink. I'm not quitting, but I'm certainly on hiatus. After dealing with my Mom's intervention nearly thirty years ago I didn't drink for about fifteen years. Not having my own identity I took on her addiction. Given my family history it ended up being serendipitous, as I didn't drink during my most susceptible years. It's funny, before the last round I'd lost my taste for booze. I was down to a bit less than a shot in my stock and didn't have any plans to restock. With the weight loss I just wasn't enjoying it any longer, probably because my accustomed double was having too much affect.
Funny thing with the flu. Once I got better, or rather less miserable my sleeping habits changed. For nearly ten years I've gone to sleep with a movie in the VCR or DVD player. Something to focus my attention on so I wouldn't toss for hours on end with a thousand thoughts running through my head. Suddenly, I just don't want anything on. I have trouble watching less than stellar movies as I mentioned earlier. Now, I actually want some thoughts to chew on as I go to sleep, and I can actually fall asleep with active thoughts dancing around.
My dreams are richer, and I'm sleeping better. It's funny, because the movie noise used to help with those, and now it detracts. In the last week there was one night where I was keyed up, and setting a movie to play for twenty minutes was just the trick, but the next night I again found the thought of putting on a movie slightly repugnant. Go figure. And I'm writing. I'm writing a bit about how I turned from a kid with the perfect life into a numb adult at age seven. It's really a celebration, and if it ever gets on it's feet I hope it shows the joy not only in those perfect early years, but in the loss of childhood and how it planted the seeds which made me who I am today. Something I am happy about. I still need to be more socialized, but no more than most of my peers, and probable less than most.
Writing though. I'm going to sign up for an original performance workshop. Something I've really wanted to do, but was scared of the very thought...
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