G'night For Now
So, a week ago I blogged about a bit of a breakthrough in my acting conservatory, the Ensemble Training Intensive. I talked more about the experience on my class journal/notes blog. It came two weeks after the dream epiphany which I'm still processing and resisting. Last night another interesting experience in the text analysis/acting class. My scene partner and I were complimented several times on how our rehearsal work outside of class made an amazing difference. We never owned up to the fact we didn't have a chance to get together on Saturday, to really work over the Friday notes. This continuing deepening and release has paid dividends, even though as I mentioned there are aspects I continue to embrace and resist. It is a difficult motherfucking journey for me, and fucking beautiful at the same time. (Amy, commented how motherfucker is a very Shakespearean curse. Thinking of the meaning, sound, and articulation of the word I have to agree wholeheartedly.)
So why do I think I we were able to do well enough that it seemed obvious we'd spent a lot of time working the scene? I became a better partner. Trina has some amazing gifts, and being more present and generous let those gifts shine. I'm not running myself down, but recognizing the power of your partner. It was pretty inspiring, and exhausting. Amy Thone told us that the good scenes could tell, because they'd be all sweaty. I guess we were a good one. There is still something I'm trying to figure out about that epiphany. I trust myself more, or am more daring. It let me trust my scene partner more, so I wasn't holding her back.
God almighty, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm patting myself on the back. I'm trying to figure out what I finally did right, because it has been forging some changes. I bounce a lot of it around here. In a way I'm trying to understand how I didn't fuck things up. Yup, the ubiquitous actor confidence crisis management. It is important to acknowledge and explore things which go right. We are harder on ourselves than any critic, and need to chase a little light to dispel the darkness we tend to draw to ourselves.
It absolutely bizarre. Here I am deeply involved in a profession, where perhaps the most common characteristic is to run ourselves down. Yet this pursuit leaves me more fulfilled, happy and confident than anything I've done before. You figure it out. I want to wind up this entry and get some shut eye.
Even though I'm feeling on a nice upswing personally, here's a cry to the universe regarding the determined path self-destruction the United States of America is intent on. I'll likely edit it over the next few days to get the song in the words closer to what I want, or delete it altogether. I hope it gets across a muted rage rather than a maudlin whine.
The Wedger's Legacy
Doh! Don't need to post it here, just link it.
So why do I think I we were able to do well enough that it seemed obvious we'd spent a lot of time working the scene? I became a better partner. Trina has some amazing gifts, and being more present and generous let those gifts shine. I'm not running myself down, but recognizing the power of your partner. It was pretty inspiring, and exhausting. Amy Thone told us that the good scenes could tell, because they'd be all sweaty. I guess we were a good one. There is still something I'm trying to figure out about that epiphany. I trust myself more, or am more daring. It let me trust my scene partner more, so I wasn't holding her back.
God almighty, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm patting myself on the back. I'm trying to figure out what I finally did right, because it has been forging some changes. I bounce a lot of it around here. In a way I'm trying to understand how I didn't fuck things up. Yup, the ubiquitous actor confidence crisis management. It is important to acknowledge and explore things which go right. We are harder on ourselves than any critic, and need to chase a little light to dispel the darkness we tend to draw to ourselves.
It absolutely bizarre. Here I am deeply involved in a profession, where perhaps the most common characteristic is to run ourselves down. Yet this pursuit leaves me more fulfilled, happy and confident than anything I've done before. You figure it out. I want to wind up this entry and get some shut eye.
Even though I'm feeling on a nice upswing personally, here's a cry to the universe regarding the determined path self-destruction the United States of America is intent on. I'll likely edit it over the next few days to get the song in the words closer to what I want, or delete it altogether. I hope it gets across a muted rage rather than a maudlin whine.
The Wedger's Legacy
Doh! Don't need to post it here, just link it.
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