On The Hook

I've been thinking about mentors for months. A desire to be self-sufficient and not be a pain in the ass pretty much ruled it out in the past. I had one for some down and dirty nuts and bolts c/c++ stuff for a few months when I was at Microsoft, then the guy retired. I'm not sure I've ever had anyone else. I've asked questions, learned mostly on my own, and had a few other even shorter term mentors.

Rachel's recent blog about picking a mentor at work, got me going here. I don't have a desire for one at work, but I have felt the lack in my theatre life. I want to move forward. The goals I'm working towards right now are conservatory/MFA programs in two years. Why? Several straightforward reasons. One, is I'd like to pass on the gifts I've encountered, the joy in finding art in my life, and an MFA provides the credentials to do so. I like the cloistered feel of academia for students, and to return again in the arts sounds like a dream. I've seen the work actors who have invested in MFA programs do, and pushing my craft to that level excites me greatly.

I don't really know where the Hell I'm going. That's not quite true. I want to go back to school. In between lies the morass. I'm assuming to get where I want to be in two or three years I need to get some quality time on the boards, then apply for conservatory and MFA programs, with the idea if I don't get into an MFA program I'll go the conservatory route to build up my qualifications and apply again. Knowing a little from a few admissions departments, applicants who apply more than once are generally looked on favorably, particularly if they keep building their knowledge and experience. It demonstrates dedication, focus, and desire.

Considering the investment I am contemplating, I'd better line up my ducks a little better. I'm going to write to the admissions offices for some MFA programs. I am pretty naive when it comes right down to it, so if any of you know of any grad schools give me your list. I've some in mind, and I want to add to it. I'll be googling during lunches and such too. I want to get myself the information you'd expect from a mentor.

Why don't I have a mentor now? I suspect it is age and experience. I am still not good at asking for help, and I'm going to have to simply do it. So many of the people I know well are in the same general level as I, though most have more experience. I'm older. Many people would feel strange mentoring someone ten or more years their senior. I suspect many of the people in my age group look on me as a peer, a grounded fellow happily occupying the tech and art worlds. For now. Of course, most of it is me. Good old dependable, self-sufficient Scott, doing it all on his own again. Fuck it. I'm going to flat out ask some people to help me map out a course. Fuck it. I can't believe I'm committing to this course of action. Fuck it. Now it's out and if I post this I'll feel obligated to follow up. Neato.

ADDENDUM:
After my proof read and spell check I was about to click the button to post this entry. Then rang the phone. Robin from Freehold was returning a call from a week or two ago about the ETI (Ensemble Training Intensive). I chatted with her for a bit, telling her my quandary. Not surprising, she suggested the ETI for next year as prep for MFA programs. I'm still worried I don't have the experience I need, but my mind was un-made up as a result of the call.

Now I'm again considering ETI for next year. I'm going to prepare for the ETI audition. After I hung up and was clicking the post button I was well aware of the coincidence and whatever meaning it may have. Robin is one of the people I'd like to have as a mentor, and assume it would not work because I know where her schedule is like. (Busier than mine.) Hmm. Left for class, did my best singing ever, and came back and added this note. I'm in one Hell of a turmoil again. Neato.