Be My Valentine
As one often does I was thinking of my friends this morning. No e-mail for half a week, no comments for longer. My long ago forsaken habits futilely tried to reinsert themselves. The ones that tell you you're un-loved, un-regarded, un-thought of. A quick "Doh!" at the moment of onset -- my new habit -- that right. Doh, my closest friends are not geeks, or are anxious for something different. The ones who are dedicated (usually deeply unsatisfied) geeks, think they're too busy. They think their various keyboards, keypads, and remotes have divine priority over interpersonal matters. I'm not in that space now. My life is more than the tools I use to write these posts, make phone calls, or switch channels.
I think I got into this line of thought with all the news stories this morning about a study showing how rude Americans have become in the high tech age. I've mentioned I find high tech to be ultimately dehumanizing to us workers and the customers. It doesn't have to be that way, despite what the corporate marketing predators tell us. I like journaling, or blogging, but it is a tool, which may create new connections. Not a replacement for real connections. I've made friends thanks to high tech, and the communication avenues it provides. It should be an enhancement to life quality, not a replacement. I like some kinds of games. Crosswords, shooter games, solitaire, adventure. Yet, I'd much rather play Trivial Pursuit. Hell, I'd rather play cribbage or chinese checkers.
Even though I see high tech in damn near all of it's current incarnations to be profoundly dehumanizing, I have trouble blaming it on pandemic rudeness. It's a choice. Look at the things we most value in this country. Consumerism (over generosity). Pushing personal values down the throats of others (over tolerance). Reality shows (over kindness). SUV's (over consideration). Profit (over ethics). Killing those we fear (over facing them with courage or compassion). We choose to worship at the alter of these and similar idols. Which of these things promote courtesy or connection to another human being in a positive way?
The line of thought about friends continued on another tangent at work today. I was thinking of friends I've made the last ten years or so. In the work place (high tech), in classes, and theatre. I noticed something about the role age plays. In the work, tech classes, beginning theatre related classes, and community theatre the friends which persisted were those closer to my age. In fringe theatre, professional theatre, and advanced acting classes ages are all over the place. Paula is fifteen years younger, Steve twenty younger, David thirteen older, Gregory over twenty younger, many others older and younger by lesser and greater degrees. Those are just the people whose ages I know. In my beginning classes at Bellevue Community College, Freehold, Driftwood, Northwest Actors Studio, Stone Soup and so on I can't name one person more then ten years different in age who is more than a casual friend.
There was something in me which prevented relationships with people of different ages. There was something in them which prevented relationships with people of different ages. Both those statements represent something true, but are false. Rather it was something missing in me or them. I can't tell you what it is, can you tell me? I know it came to me with art. My good friends talk about age once in a while, with no more consequence than talking about where we grew up. I'm not under the delusion that being an artist makes you remove the glass ceiling of age.
How much do I read into this? I know allowing myself to become an artist has opened many vistas and opportunities. My intuition tells me art is more often a bringer of new ideas and friends into people's lives than the technical. It also tells me art more often breaks down walls of misunderstanding than the technical. Yet, the technical serves to enhance art. Improvements in theaters and other mediums, of tools used to perform and communicate, etc. There's a balance, and I'd guess our society is dangerously close to becoming terminally unbalanced.
I want more friends: best, close, good, casual. Artists and technicians. Both. All. It's a healthy yearning, and though I have more friends than ever before I hunger for more of all ages, leanings, backgrounds.
I think I got into this line of thought with all the news stories this morning about a study showing how rude Americans have become in the high tech age. I've mentioned I find high tech to be ultimately dehumanizing to us workers and the customers. It doesn't have to be that way, despite what the corporate marketing predators tell us. I like journaling, or blogging, but it is a tool, which may create new connections. Not a replacement for real connections. I've made friends thanks to high tech, and the communication avenues it provides. It should be an enhancement to life quality, not a replacement. I like some kinds of games. Crosswords, shooter games, solitaire, adventure. Yet, I'd much rather play Trivial Pursuit. Hell, I'd rather play cribbage or chinese checkers.
Even though I see high tech in damn near all of it's current incarnations to be profoundly dehumanizing, I have trouble blaming it on pandemic rudeness. It's a choice. Look at the things we most value in this country. Consumerism (over generosity). Pushing personal values down the throats of others (over tolerance). Reality shows (over kindness). SUV's (over consideration). Profit (over ethics). Killing those we fear (over facing them with courage or compassion). We choose to worship at the alter of these and similar idols. Which of these things promote courtesy or connection to another human being in a positive way?
The line of thought about friends continued on another tangent at work today. I was thinking of friends I've made the last ten years or so. In the work place (high tech), in classes, and theatre. I noticed something about the role age plays. In the work, tech classes, beginning theatre related classes, and community theatre the friends which persisted were those closer to my age. In fringe theatre, professional theatre, and advanced acting classes ages are all over the place. Paula is fifteen years younger, Steve twenty younger, David thirteen older, Gregory over twenty younger, many others older and younger by lesser and greater degrees. Those are just the people whose ages I know. In my beginning classes at Bellevue Community College, Freehold, Driftwood, Northwest Actors Studio, Stone Soup and so on I can't name one person more then ten years different in age who is more than a casual friend.
There was something in me which prevented relationships with people of different ages. There was something in them which prevented relationships with people of different ages. Both those statements represent something true, but are false. Rather it was something missing in me or them. I can't tell you what it is, can you tell me? I know it came to me with art. My good friends talk about age once in a while, with no more consequence than talking about where we grew up. I'm not under the delusion that being an artist makes you remove the glass ceiling of age.
How much do I read into this? I know allowing myself to become an artist has opened many vistas and opportunities. My intuition tells me art is more often a bringer of new ideas and friends into people's lives than the technical. It also tells me art more often breaks down walls of misunderstanding than the technical. Yet, the technical serves to enhance art. Improvements in theaters and other mediums, of tools used to perform and communicate, etc. There's a balance, and I'd guess our society is dangerously close to becoming terminally unbalanced.
I want more friends: best, close, good, casual. Artists and technicians. Both. All. It's a healthy yearning, and though I have more friends than ever before I hunger for more of all ages, leanings, backgrounds.
1 Comments:
That's a good, healthy yearning. I think a mix of people in one's life broadens the experience. Having the same mix all of the time without new input tends to stagnate.
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