What's The Difference?
or
Bad Math
I woke at 6:30AM this morning, getting to bed a little after midnight last night. Here's the unusual part. I feel great. Despite the over-full schedule the clean living is doing me good. I'm nicely sore in several areas. The knee and foot on the recovering leg are tender but do not have an injured feeling. I stay conscious of these during or physical training classes, movement and combat, so I can adjust appropriately. My goal is not to bypass work to these areas, but to nurture them back to fullness.
I did indeed go to class with fewer butterflies yesterday. More like the level before an enjoyable show in the middle of a run. It's nice to know my feeling about that worked out.
I started to post comment to Rachel's comment yesterday, then realized it was going to go on a bit. It made total sense and was descriptive of my feelings too, though from a different direction. Sort of an outside->in vs an inside->out process. It got me to thinking about the richness of variety, having a singular passion either resulting from or leading to a diversity of passions (a lovely paradox), and how it varies...
Two precipitous life changes led me to theatre and passion. First was getting the nicotine monkey off my back. I quit a 20+ year Copenhagen habit of no less than a can a day on June 14, 1999. The second started a couple years earlier, and continued throughout. Socializing myself. I'd always been very withdrawn, shy. I started asking people for fun little social get togethers, learning to delight in the people who came instead of obsessing on those who didn't or couldn't. It also taught me to accept invitations, maybe a harder step.
The nicotine was sucking my energy. The isolation was sucking my soul. I stopped withering, and even with the concomitant spiritual reawakening I still felt sere. Still, the deep forest was just trees, though a little greener. Children were only kids, though more engaging. Emotions slight bumps in the road. Existence was muffled, musty.
The growth in getting over isolation and nicotine was a nascent habit. I decided to explore the arts at the Bellevue Community College Continuing Education program. Scheduling and other externals caused me to pick the acting class first. It was a serendipitous start, though I'd still like to do some drawing and painting classes sometime. Through theatre life caught fire. The forest moves me deeply again, and I suspect my first time back to the ocean will make me weep. Children excite and tickle my soul. I love to play in their world with them, and while I treat them as equals I want to protect them, and rend or smite anyone who would assault their innocence and joy prematurely. Emotions are rich, deep, varied. Existence is a continual gift. Theatre is my artistic outlet, maybe my vocation, and it continues to bring wildly divergent experience and loves into my life.
I suspect we're on the same wavelength. Theatre has made my life bigger. It makes me wonder how many experiences we share with our fellow beings which are nearly identical are expressed in very different, but mutually inclusive ways.
Well it's been a long day, doing some firefighting. I won't get a chance to do much of my homework tonight. It's a get home, eat, and get up early day tomorrow. I don't like being at the office this late, but it isn't stopping me from looking forward to tomorrow. Besides, that means I'll have less time to catch up on come Saturday. *Hafa Adai my friends.
*"Hafa Adai" according to a friend when I was on Guam is not simply hello. It is hello, farewell, Blessings Upon You, Live Long and Prosper and so on. My favorite is the meaning behind "Blessings Upon You." The phase is similar to Aloha or the Thai greeting and farewell blessing which for the life of me I can't remember.
I did indeed go to class with fewer butterflies yesterday. More like the level before an enjoyable show in the middle of a run. It's nice to know my feeling about that worked out.
I started to post comment to Rachel's comment yesterday, then realized it was going to go on a bit. It made total sense and was descriptive of my feelings too, though from a different direction. Sort of an outside->in vs an inside->out process. It got me to thinking about the richness of variety, having a singular passion either resulting from or leading to a diversity of passions (a lovely paradox), and how it varies...
Two precipitous life changes led me to theatre and passion. First was getting the nicotine monkey off my back. I quit a 20+ year Copenhagen habit of no less than a can a day on June 14, 1999. The second started a couple years earlier, and continued throughout. Socializing myself. I'd always been very withdrawn, shy. I started asking people for fun little social get togethers, learning to delight in the people who came instead of obsessing on those who didn't or couldn't. It also taught me to accept invitations, maybe a harder step.
The nicotine was sucking my energy. The isolation was sucking my soul. I stopped withering, and even with the concomitant spiritual reawakening I still felt sere. Still, the deep forest was just trees, though a little greener. Children were only kids, though more engaging. Emotions slight bumps in the road. Existence was muffled, musty.
The growth in getting over isolation and nicotine was a nascent habit. I decided to explore the arts at the Bellevue Community College Continuing Education program. Scheduling and other externals caused me to pick the acting class first. It was a serendipitous start, though I'd still like to do some drawing and painting classes sometime. Through theatre life caught fire. The forest moves me deeply again, and I suspect my first time back to the ocean will make me weep. Children excite and tickle my soul. I love to play in their world with them, and while I treat them as equals I want to protect them, and rend or smite anyone who would assault their innocence and joy prematurely. Emotions are rich, deep, varied. Existence is a continual gift. Theatre is my artistic outlet, maybe my vocation, and it continues to bring wildly divergent experience and loves into my life.
I suspect we're on the same wavelength. Theatre has made my life bigger. It makes me wonder how many experiences we share with our fellow beings which are nearly identical are expressed in very different, but mutually inclusive ways.
Well it's been a long day, doing some firefighting. I won't get a chance to do much of my homework tonight. It's a get home, eat, and get up early day tomorrow. I don't like being at the office this late, but it isn't stopping me from looking forward to tomorrow. Besides, that means I'll have less time to catch up on come Saturday. *Hafa Adai my friends.
*"Hafa Adai" according to a friend when I was on Guam is not simply hello. It is hello, farewell, Blessings Upon You, Live Long and Prosper and so on. My favorite is the meaning behind "Blessings Upon You." The phase is similar to Aloha or the Thai greeting and farewell blessing which for the life of me I can't remember.
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