Fights
I'm still fighting a bug. Quite a balance to strive for, with work, training, and rest. So far I'm doing well, by missing out socially. I just got another large cup of tea, mmm. My folks got me a large mug with "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." from As You Like It on it. Pretty pictures too. A bag of decaf green tea and a caffeine free lemon herb. Even the caffeine in tea gets to me these days, still, it is a little decaf pleasure I am looking forward to.
This is sad. I was looking at the news online while I ate my breakfast yesterday. They had a picture of bush (I can't bring myself to honor him with capitalization), and he looked much older than his years. More like his father's age. If this were a man I merely disagreed with, I'd feel a little badly the years were hard on him. Instead I felt incensed he isn't more ravaged. I can not imagine a punishment which could possibly atone for the damage our vicious little martinet has visited on the world, including our own country. There have been presidents I disliked, but never one I detested to the core of my being. I resent this deeply. I can see the country is finally beginning to open their eyes to his policies of greed and cowardice, but it is a matter of too little, too late.
My father likes the analogy of a pendulum for a democracy. We tend to swing past the optimum spot, but on average we maintain a wonderful balance. I'd say we've somewhat overbalanced the swing to a bizarre and amoral version conservatism. If we ever recover, it will not happen quickly. I do not see how it can happen in my life time. We have willingly given our government and corporations too much dictatorial power, and now that it has been granted wresting liberty back will be a hundred times harder, especially since they have our number. Make us afraid, give us a shopping discount and we'll justify anything. ANYTHING. (for example: Brownie just got a job with FEMA as a consultant on the agencies response to Katrina.) Again a sad situation, when there is no rational way to view your government except as hugely successful organized crime.
Last night was the end of week three for ETI (Ensemble Training Intensive). It was a full eleven hour day, as the acting class ran long. 11:30 AM until a bit after 10:30 PM. Here's a bit of irony. During our speech class we each finished the following sentence. "What really terrifies me is..." I said, "What really terrifies me is getting in a physical confrontation and losing control again." I was thinking of cases where I simply froze and did nothing, and a few others, maybe three or four times in my life where I did some amazing things, responding with incredible and implacable strength. I remember once in the navy in a training situation, and twice in public school. I did things I 'knew' I did not have the strength or knowledge to do, like taking down large numbers of people, or dealing with someone in a way making the rest of my peers cautious around me. Those responses bother me more than the seemingly fearful freezing, because I don't remember what happened in two of them. I've joked about the berserker blood of my Viking ancestors, but it is a worry.
We had our last two classes of the day in the theatre. During the final class, acting, we did our scenes, with one of the seven two person groups preparing while the rest of us waited in or around the lobby. During one of these short breaks one of my classmates said, "Hey, that drunk guy is getting your riding suit." Sure enough, a slender young black fellow three or four inches taller than me was putting on my suit. I just did. I told him you'll have to take that off, it is my suit. And started 'helping' him. He said something about giving some guy ten bucks for it, and I politely said they were wrong as I helped him step out of the suit. Then I firmly and courteously escorted him out of the theatre, making sure he found his way to the stairs safely, and locking the door.
Afterwards I realized the irony given my earlier stated fear, and thought about it. I found it odd I didn't get nervous or scared. I was simply firm and polite. I think I was thinking in terms of presence. I wanted to be authoritative and non-threatening. I didn't want a scene, just wanted to get the fellow pointed in the right direction. As he was leaving he said something which made me think he was a musician and his friends had messed with him when he got blotto. He smelled like a distillery, but he didn't seem like a regular drunk. I'd guess he's got a headache and some embarrassment this morning, and hopefully he remembers getting a compassionate bum's rush. I got a couple during my mispent youth too. Even if he remembers he doesn't know the situation was a demon for me, even if it didn't get tense.
This is sad. I was looking at the news online while I ate my breakfast yesterday. They had a picture of bush (I can't bring myself to honor him with capitalization), and he looked much older than his years. More like his father's age. If this were a man I merely disagreed with, I'd feel a little badly the years were hard on him. Instead I felt incensed he isn't more ravaged. I can not imagine a punishment which could possibly atone for the damage our vicious little martinet has visited on the world, including our own country. There have been presidents I disliked, but never one I detested to the core of my being. I resent this deeply. I can see the country is finally beginning to open their eyes to his policies of greed and cowardice, but it is a matter of too little, too late.
My father likes the analogy of a pendulum for a democracy. We tend to swing past the optimum spot, but on average we maintain a wonderful balance. I'd say we've somewhat overbalanced the swing to a bizarre and amoral version conservatism. If we ever recover, it will not happen quickly. I do not see how it can happen in my life time. We have willingly given our government and corporations too much dictatorial power, and now that it has been granted wresting liberty back will be a hundred times harder, especially since they have our number. Make us afraid, give us a shopping discount and we'll justify anything. ANYTHING. (for example: Brownie just got a job with FEMA as a consultant on the agencies response to Katrina.) Again a sad situation, when there is no rational way to view your government except as hugely successful organized crime.
Last night was the end of week three for ETI (Ensemble Training Intensive). It was a full eleven hour day, as the acting class ran long. 11:30 AM until a bit after 10:30 PM. Here's a bit of irony. During our speech class we each finished the following sentence. "What really terrifies me is..." I said, "What really terrifies me is getting in a physical confrontation and losing control again." I was thinking of cases where I simply froze and did nothing, and a few others, maybe three or four times in my life where I did some amazing things, responding with incredible and implacable strength. I remember once in the navy in a training situation, and twice in public school. I did things I 'knew' I did not have the strength or knowledge to do, like taking down large numbers of people, or dealing with someone in a way making the rest of my peers cautious around me. Those responses bother me more than the seemingly fearful freezing, because I don't remember what happened in two of them. I've joked about the berserker blood of my Viking ancestors, but it is a worry.
We had our last two classes of the day in the theatre. During the final class, acting, we did our scenes, with one of the seven two person groups preparing while the rest of us waited in or around the lobby. During one of these short breaks one of my classmates said, "Hey, that drunk guy is getting your riding suit." Sure enough, a slender young black fellow three or four inches taller than me was putting on my suit. I just did. I told him you'll have to take that off, it is my suit. And started 'helping' him. He said something about giving some guy ten bucks for it, and I politely said they were wrong as I helped him step out of the suit. Then I firmly and courteously escorted him out of the theatre, making sure he found his way to the stairs safely, and locking the door.
Afterwards I realized the irony given my earlier stated fear, and thought about it. I found it odd I didn't get nervous or scared. I was simply firm and polite. I think I was thinking in terms of presence. I wanted to be authoritative and non-threatening. I didn't want a scene, just wanted to get the fellow pointed in the right direction. As he was leaving he said something which made me think he was a musician and his friends had messed with him when he got blotto. He smelled like a distillery, but he didn't seem like a regular drunk. I'd guess he's got a headache and some embarrassment this morning, and hopefully he remembers getting a compassionate bum's rush. I got a couple during my mispent youth too. Even if he remembers he doesn't know the situation was a demon for me, even if it didn't get tense.
1 Comments:
I'm always heartened when I hear a US citizen state analyse the political scene in this way. It gives me hope that all may not be completely lost.
Oh, and I have Viking blood too!
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