Spring Fever
Ow-. My leg already feels like it is the end of the day. Damn. A quarter after ten in the morning and most of the day left to go. Damn. My kids are on vacation. Double Damn. I drove out to the school, forgetting to check if their district was having Spring break. Triple damn. Monday is my favorite day of the week because I get to start out spending time reading to a room of wonderful 4th graders, but not today. Hell! (The only time I remember my paternal Grandmother swearing was when she didn't realize I was around, "Damn, Damn, Double Damn, Triple Damn, Hell!" It's been a favorite ever since.)
I had fun yesterday though. I have the pictures of the kids I took last week back, two copies of each. I put little post-it notes on each one, with the kid's names, so I can have them double-checked. I also read forty pages of the book we are working on so I could make notes, condensing the parts of the story I'll not read aloud. The good side of the vacation day is I will be able to practice read a couple more times. I'm worried what I have prepared will take a little longer than the time allotted, so now I'll be able to read it a few more times with a timer.
I got in touch with Jessica yesterday, perhaps the best regarded monologue coach in the region. She has a reputation not only for helping people prepare, but for picking out wonderful pieces for people, and once you've worked with her she will send you ideas many years later. I met her briefly, having sat next to her at Peter Brook's Hamlet at the Mercer Arena in Seattle. I really enjoyed talking to her last night. She is passionate about theatre and craft, and I got recharged just chatting on the phone. I'll be giving her some more information about myself, bringing along some monologues and pieces that have gripped me and working with her for our first session next Sunday at 1 PM.
It is now two weeks ago I had a meeting with Greg about my nascent theatre idea. I'm still chewing over his questions. I have a pretty good view of what I want to
work towards, it's the inception and beginning for which I need a better vision. Tomorrow is my deadline. My cogitation is transparent to everyone else, so I'm already running the risk of implicitly telling people this is not a serious venture on my part. I'm also thinking of taking a "Singing and Alexander" and possible a rehearsal and performance class. So, with the recovery I'm jumping back into theatre pursuits.
I'm listening to Rigoletto, and stepped out for a moment during one of the last few tracks. Car radio syndrome. When I came back and hit play it seemed a LOT louder than when I paused it.
Why am I looking at classes? I wanted to get into a production before July, but thanks to the leg, my time window has shrunk dramatically, and most casting directors would be justifiably leery of a fellow limping in on crutches or a cane, claiming he is in the middle of a speedy recovery. Heck, when I broke the leg I thought I'd be able to start auditioning in a couple days instead of months. I was probably still in shock, and didn't appreciate the systemic impact of breaking a major bone.
Gotta' stay current, and sane. You know, I've a quite a number of friends who go into seclusion when things are tough. I used to do the same, and for me it is not a helpful or healthy place. I've ruled out a lot of relationships in the last ten years with people who are like that. No way did I want to risk a synergistic effect, making me feel more blue. Now that I am solidly out of that mode I still don't consider people like that for serious relationships, at first because it could be too easy to slip back into that way of not coping, and now because I would not be very patient with someone still operating in that mode. A lot of my friends wonder why I don't pursue serious relationships. That is one big reason. I definitely don't want to be with someone who shuts down again, and for a while I worried I'd be that person in a relationship. First though, I need to get busy with some new projects for myself.
Another reason I'm not all excited about serious relationships goes back to my short marriage, which lasted a little less than two years. Never have I been more miserable. Maybe I'm too gun shy, but there is still a feeling that nothing could be as good as that was bad. In reality, I don't think about it much anymore. This is the most I've thought about it in a very long time. I truly love so many people around me you'd think I'd be over it. So, even though I don't think about it much anymore, I suppose a lack of excitement regarding deep committed relationships stays with me. Sort of a vestigial remnant of the marital bliss I experienced. Well, it is Spring and woman seem especially attractive again. You know, late Fall and early Winter does the same thing for me. Is that weird?
I had fun yesterday though. I have the pictures of the kids I took last week back, two copies of each. I put little post-it notes on each one, with the kid's names, so I can have them double-checked. I also read forty pages of the book we are working on so I could make notes, condensing the parts of the story I'll not read aloud. The good side of the vacation day is I will be able to practice read a couple more times. I'm worried what I have prepared will take a little longer than the time allotted, so now I'll be able to read it a few more times with a timer.
I got in touch with Jessica yesterday, perhaps the best regarded monologue coach in the region. She has a reputation not only for helping people prepare, but for picking out wonderful pieces for people, and once you've worked with her she will send you ideas many years later. I met her briefly, having sat next to her at Peter Brook's Hamlet at the Mercer Arena in Seattle. I really enjoyed talking to her last night. She is passionate about theatre and craft, and I got recharged just chatting on the phone. I'll be giving her some more information about myself, bringing along some monologues and pieces that have gripped me and working with her for our first session next Sunday at 1 PM.
It is now two weeks ago I had a meeting with Greg about my nascent theatre idea. I'm still chewing over his questions. I have a pretty good view of what I want to
work towards, it's the inception and beginning for which I need a better vision. Tomorrow is my deadline. My cogitation is transparent to everyone else, so I'm already running the risk of implicitly telling people this is not a serious venture on my part. I'm also thinking of taking a "Singing and Alexander" and possible a rehearsal and performance class. So, with the recovery I'm jumping back into theatre pursuits.
I'm listening to Rigoletto, and stepped out for a moment during one of the last few tracks. Car radio syndrome. When I came back and hit play it seemed a LOT louder than when I paused it.
Why am I looking at classes? I wanted to get into a production before July, but thanks to the leg, my time window has shrunk dramatically, and most casting directors would be justifiably leery of a fellow limping in on crutches or a cane, claiming he is in the middle of a speedy recovery. Heck, when I broke the leg I thought I'd be able to start auditioning in a couple days instead of months. I was probably still in shock, and didn't appreciate the systemic impact of breaking a major bone.
Gotta' stay current, and sane. You know, I've a quite a number of friends who go into seclusion when things are tough. I used to do the same, and for me it is not a helpful or healthy place. I've ruled out a lot of relationships in the last ten years with people who are like that. No way did I want to risk a synergistic effect, making me feel more blue. Now that I am solidly out of that mode I still don't consider people like that for serious relationships, at first because it could be too easy to slip back into that way of not coping, and now because I would not be very patient with someone still operating in that mode. A lot of my friends wonder why I don't pursue serious relationships. That is one big reason. I definitely don't want to be with someone who shuts down again, and for a while I worried I'd be that person in a relationship. First though, I need to get busy with some new projects for myself.
Another reason I'm not all excited about serious relationships goes back to my short marriage, which lasted a little less than two years. Never have I been more miserable. Maybe I'm too gun shy, but there is still a feeling that nothing could be as good as that was bad. In reality, I don't think about it much anymore. This is the most I've thought about it in a very long time. I truly love so many people around me you'd think I'd be over it. So, even though I don't think about it much anymore, I suppose a lack of excitement regarding deep committed relationships stays with me. Sort of a vestigial remnant of the marital bliss I experienced. Well, it is Spring and woman seem especially attractive again. You know, late Fall and early Winter does the same thing for me. Is that weird?
2 Comments:
Late Fall does it for me, too. Then again, that tends to be my favorite season of the year. Oddly enough, it is also the most likely season for me to suffer depression. I wonder if depression and joy are related in a similar fashion to love and hate. Weird.
Good luck with the monologue coaching!
My two cents on relationships and, of course, you can take this for what it's worth since I'm celebrating 10 years of a committed relationship, is that when you work on yourself and become happy with yourself, then you become more attractive to others. The downside is that you also become more attractive to emotional vampires. Hopefully, you've done enough work on yourself to discern the difference reasonably quickly.
Ah, life force vampires as I call them. I like to think I know how to recognize them, though I doubt I'm as appealing as I once was. They seem to remove themselves from your life once you start living with your own desires in mind.
I've not been hit hard by the blues for years. I suspect it is related to joy at some level, and I know which member of the family I prefer to hang with. It has amazed me to discover how many things I can change in my life and perception by simply willing it. Giving myself the license to will, well that was the hard part. Now when I feel that logy feeling coming on I get involved in a show or something.
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