Who's Your Mommy?
Tuesday night was the worst rehearsal I've ever done. Hopefully it will hold that honor for years to come. Lines I knew cold on my feet for the last week were paraphrased or dropped way too much, I wasn't very present, and I felt crappy. My kidneys have been aching, and I've been feeling whoozy since the beginning of the week. Monday was the worst, but I'm still feeling pretty fuzzy.
Wednesday at work was a nightmare. I made a mistake in how I checked in updated code. A very small error most of the time, and of course it didn't come to light until the worst possible moment. Makes me feel even crappier.
Actually, I'm not all broken up about things, just smile and keep on plugging, eventually it will get better. Here's to hoping I've already hit the nadir. It could be worse...
It would be nice if I asked those questions at the earliest possible opportunity. That is my goal, ask why I'm making myself miserable as soon as I feel in the dumps. I can't blame my boss, my mom, Bush, Kerry, unless I am willing to admit I am entirely too feeble to assume responsibility for myself. And yes, I do talk rather harshly to myself on a regular basis. On the other hand, I get irritated by athletic style 'coaches'. "Kick it in! Push harder! No pain, no gain!" I say, "Bugger off!" That's my prerogative and responsibility.
Wednesday at work was a nightmare. I made a mistake in how I checked in updated code. A very small error most of the time, and of course it didn't come to light until the worst possible moment. Makes me feel even crappier.
Actually, I'm not all broken up about things, just smile and keep on plugging, eventually it will get better. Here's to hoping I've already hit the nadir. It could be worse...
I'm convinced we are the greatest arbiter when it comes to our own attitude. If you think your life sucks it's almost always your choice. If you're caught in a famine, or the crosshairs of weapon systems, you have some justification though all the survivors I know of those sort of extreme situations maintained a positive attitude when things were really bad. When I whine about not so dire things like a dead end job, I ask myself why did I take it, why am I not actively pursuing other possibilities? When I feel used by someone I ask, why am I giving them power? Etc. To me the underlying question is, "Why am I making myself miserable?"
Young Frankenstein
[Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What a filthy job.
Igor : Could be worse.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : How?
Igor : Could be raining.
[it starts to pour]
It would be nice if I asked those questions at the earliest possible opportunity. That is my goal, ask why I'm making myself miserable as soon as I feel in the dumps. I can't blame my boss, my mom, Bush, Kerry, unless I am willing to admit I am entirely too feeble to assume responsibility for myself. And yes, I do talk rather harshly to myself on a regular basis. On the other hand, I get irritated by athletic style 'coaches'. "Kick it in! Push harder! No pain, no gain!" I say, "Bugger off!" That's my prerogative and responsibility.
1 Comments:
Oh man. That Young Frankenstein comment -- "Could be worse." "How?" "Could be raining." [Starts to rain]" -- sums up how almost EVERYONE I know is feeling. It's like the bummer season is in town. The weather, the lack of light, the election, the war -- whatever, it's grey days. SO good to see it spelled out in a scene that was so true, I laughed.
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