Family Affair
I just hung up on my little brother. It relates to the way the 1000 casualty mark tore me up this week. I'm not at peace yet.
In the past I have jokingly called him our brown shirt republican. He was trying to tell me how Bush was no worse than Clinton, and how every recent president has taken us to war to manipulate domestic politics and opinion. I have learned to just let it go when he started quoting 'facts' from the conservative pundits he admires. Several times I have looked up his statistics or facts, and one I remember in particular, were some numbers regarding one of the mass transit programs. I found the numbers he quoted, but was not able to find documentation. There were well documented numbers you could use to argue against mass transit, but they were debatable. The made up numbers, and in one case, an utterly out of context statistic, were inflammatory. Sadly, aside from his rabid hate of fundamentalist christians it makes him appear to be a stereotypical neocon. I always figured it was just my brother, who would rather start an argument than be serious any day of the week.
He started off telling me some very nice and interesting things about my younger niece. Then he started going on about the CBS documents on Bush's service record, and how they were obvious forgeries. I honestly don't care about them. I am utterly opposed to Bush to the depth of my being, because I sincerely view him as a war criminal. I believe he took us to war knowing it was unjustifiable, that the torture was premeditated and initiated at the highest level, that the civilian death toll is unacceptably high and largely preventable, etc. And we started this atrocious war. You can argue we have gotten involved in too many wars or in wars where we didn't belong, but this is the first time in my life we initiated a war.
When my brother started justifying Bush and arguing his actions are no different from other presidents it pissed me off unreasonably. It felt like he was saying my time in combat, and those Americans and Iraqis fighting, dying, and being hideously disabled for life right now don't count for shit. I am sure he didn't mean demagoguery preempts all else. I even knew it at the time, and I was about to say some things which would get me in trouble with HR if my officemate heard, and alienate me from my brother for a very, very long time, certainly much longer then angrily talking over him to say I had to get back to work. I did have to get back to work, but mostly I was furious with the whole idea of playing oneupsmanship where massive death and destruction are involved.
I think he learned to discuss politics from the radio. I avoid talk radio, but when I hold the scan button too long I catch little snippets; it is like hearing my brother on playback. 99.5% interruption, shout down, and oneupsmanship, and 0.5% truth and discussion. The last four years or so I learned to just wait for him to run himself out of steam. Then I respond. I usually get tired of being interrupted with familiar comebacks which go off on bizarre tangents to a degree which makes even me seem focused, and sort of politely wander off to another topic or room. Today I was interrupting right back and getting cross.
My political beliefs and opinions change and evolve on a regular basis. My brother's are very solid, rarely swaying. It still amazes me isn't yet certain of his vote for Bush. My point here is not whether 'change' or 'steadfastness' is better, rather that my response to his convictions is the issue, and it is my issue. Until I can deal with his view I had best avoid him. Generally it is the other way around. I get tired around my brother sometimes, because more than anybody else I know I have to watch what I say around him. He is quick to take offense and slower to forget. It seems he has been less touchy lately, but I'm still careful, and drop things the moment I see he is getting edgy.
I am the one who is quick to anger now. The thought of hanging with him when I can't help but feel he is willfully overlooking and minimizing international crimes to humanity and assaults on American liberty is very hard. It is not something I can deal with at the moment. I hope to get myself out of this knot.
Sure, I could blame Bush and the GOP for driving a wedge into my family. It would be a cop out. If I feel so strongly they are leading our country down a path towards cowardice, atrocity, and a profound loss of domestic liberty I should be able to express myself without anger. I have spoken of this before. I should do whatever it takes to share my views in a calm and truthful manner. With family there are hot buttons we aren't really aware of until they are pushed. I think that is the problem. Eric is not particularly sensitive, but as I said above I am always watching out for his big brother buttons. He found a little brother button on me today. I really can't believe he would dismiss my ten years of active duty, and participation in a war in favor of reactionary ideals. That is wrong. I don't want to believe it, and fear it is possible.
I worry more than a little we will have to institute the draft if we allow the current administration to continue. They are already in the process of testing the waters with mentions of Iran, like they started with Iraq a few months after 9/11. Retention in the service is becoming increasingly difficult. The long deployments which are extended, just to support the currently insufficient force level in Iraq does not bode well for retention or recruiting. Lagging retention and recruiting when deployment needs increase calls for a draft. If Bush is elected, I have several nephews who will be of draft age by the time the new term is up. Ironically they all belong to my siblings or step siblings who espouse neocon viewpoints. Regardless of their parent's politics, I don't want any of them in that Hellhole.
I will avoid my brother for now. I'll pray to whatever higher power there is, that his and my step sibling's agenda loses in the upcoming elections, and Kerry if elected will get us out without further damage or needs to augment our military. I don't want my nephews to need prayers in a few short years.
In the past I have jokingly called him our brown shirt republican. He was trying to tell me how Bush was no worse than Clinton, and how every recent president has taken us to war to manipulate domestic politics and opinion. I have learned to just let it go when he started quoting 'facts' from the conservative pundits he admires. Several times I have looked up his statistics or facts, and one I remember in particular, were some numbers regarding one of the mass transit programs. I found the numbers he quoted, but was not able to find documentation. There were well documented numbers you could use to argue against mass transit, but they were debatable. The made up numbers, and in one case, an utterly out of context statistic, were inflammatory. Sadly, aside from his rabid hate of fundamentalist christians it makes him appear to be a stereotypical neocon. I always figured it was just my brother, who would rather start an argument than be serious any day of the week.
He started off telling me some very nice and interesting things about my younger niece. Then he started going on about the CBS documents on Bush's service record, and how they were obvious forgeries. I honestly don't care about them. I am utterly opposed to Bush to the depth of my being, because I sincerely view him as a war criminal. I believe he took us to war knowing it was unjustifiable, that the torture was premeditated and initiated at the highest level, that the civilian death toll is unacceptably high and largely preventable, etc. And we started this atrocious war. You can argue we have gotten involved in too many wars or in wars where we didn't belong, but this is the first time in my life we initiated a war.
When my brother started justifying Bush and arguing his actions are no different from other presidents it pissed me off unreasonably. It felt like he was saying my time in combat, and those Americans and Iraqis fighting, dying, and being hideously disabled for life right now don't count for shit. I am sure he didn't mean demagoguery preempts all else. I even knew it at the time, and I was about to say some things which would get me in trouble with HR if my officemate heard, and alienate me from my brother for a very, very long time, certainly much longer then angrily talking over him to say I had to get back to work. I did have to get back to work, but mostly I was furious with the whole idea of playing oneupsmanship where massive death and destruction are involved.
I think he learned to discuss politics from the radio. I avoid talk radio, but when I hold the scan button too long I catch little snippets; it is like hearing my brother on playback. 99.5% interruption, shout down, and oneupsmanship, and 0.5% truth and discussion. The last four years or so I learned to just wait for him to run himself out of steam. Then I respond. I usually get tired of being interrupted with familiar comebacks which go off on bizarre tangents to a degree which makes even me seem focused, and sort of politely wander off to another topic or room. Today I was interrupting right back and getting cross.
My political beliefs and opinions change and evolve on a regular basis. My brother's are very solid, rarely swaying. It still amazes me isn't yet certain of his vote for Bush. My point here is not whether 'change' or 'steadfastness' is better, rather that my response to his convictions is the issue, and it is my issue. Until I can deal with his view I had best avoid him. Generally it is the other way around. I get tired around my brother sometimes, because more than anybody else I know I have to watch what I say around him. He is quick to take offense and slower to forget. It seems he has been less touchy lately, but I'm still careful, and drop things the moment I see he is getting edgy.
I am the one who is quick to anger now. The thought of hanging with him when I can't help but feel he is willfully overlooking and minimizing international crimes to humanity and assaults on American liberty is very hard. It is not something I can deal with at the moment. I hope to get myself out of this knot.
Sure, I could blame Bush and the GOP for driving a wedge into my family. It would be a cop out. If I feel so strongly they are leading our country down a path towards cowardice, atrocity, and a profound loss of domestic liberty I should be able to express myself without anger. I have spoken of this before. I should do whatever it takes to share my views in a calm and truthful manner. With family there are hot buttons we aren't really aware of until they are pushed. I think that is the problem. Eric is not particularly sensitive, but as I said above I am always watching out for his big brother buttons. He found a little brother button on me today. I really can't believe he would dismiss my ten years of active duty, and participation in a war in favor of reactionary ideals. That is wrong. I don't want to believe it, and fear it is possible.
I worry more than a little we will have to institute the draft if we allow the current administration to continue. They are already in the process of testing the waters with mentions of Iran, like they started with Iraq a few months after 9/11. Retention in the service is becoming increasingly difficult. The long deployments which are extended, just to support the currently insufficient force level in Iraq does not bode well for retention or recruiting. Lagging retention and recruiting when deployment needs increase calls for a draft. If Bush is elected, I have several nephews who will be of draft age by the time the new term is up. Ironically they all belong to my siblings or step siblings who espouse neocon viewpoints. Regardless of their parent's politics, I don't want any of them in that Hellhole.
I will avoid my brother for now. I'll pray to whatever higher power there is, that his and my step sibling's agenda loses in the upcoming elections, and Kerry if elected will get us out without further damage or needs to augment our military. I don't want my nephews to need prayers in a few short years.
1 Comments:
Well said, Scott. I agree completely with the part that begins, "I see Bush as a war criminal"... up through, "This is the first war in my lifetime we have started." I haven't seen it put so succinctly before.
Keep following your convictions and your heart, it's good to have you in the world. And kudos for, even among the red-eyed rage, having the perspective to still realize, "That's MY issue."
I think THAT is the gift of theatre -- perspective. There is some free ethical level beneath all the characters, where humanity lives.
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