Adrift
Three day weekends are a blessing, and linked with the accompanying four day work week another blessing. A respite making two weeks seem better. Refreshes the mind and spirit making day jobs and all else more enjoyable. Still, I feel restless.
I lounged quite a bit this weekend, getting some clean up and sorting done as well. Got to the zoo and did some productive character work. With the exception of some script writing work, I did everything I wanted to accomplish around and out of the house over the weekend. All in all I had a very good holiday, getting lots of loafing and tasks completed. Still, I feel restless.
Right now, I'm upset, and grieving more than I would have expected now we've reached 1,000 US casualties in Iraq. This weekend, I was thinking it would happen soon without having any idea what the current body count was, only that it was over 700. We hit the tragic milestone today, I'm a wreck, and that's not it either, so I still feel restless.
I feel like my character work for Rumors is about to crack. The last performance I did was for Meisner, and it didn't crack open until several days before the performance. It is nice to have the feeling a little earlier, though it doesn't change the need to continue spending more time on the work as rehearsals approach. It gives me more time to try wild things and develop the character. I thought this might be the cause for my restlessness. Alas, it is not.
It is an eerie, though not scary place. It is a feeling of being adrift without rescue in sight, like a caffeine buzz without the caffeine. I have felt it many times. Before I could stand up and say, "Hi my name is Scott, and I'm ... An artist," it was a precursor to one of those particularly dark and extended periods of feeling in the dumps. Now I know it means something is going to happen. Good/bad doesn't apply, just something significant which will affect me and provide a challenge of some sort. A time of growth. There is a catch of course. I must be willing to see whatever it is. I don't claim it is precognitive, rather a heightened awareness of something bubbling and churning around in the subconscious. The subconscious -- well I make no claims there.
What a bizarre day. Something dark and nasty came along, and something new and interesting is on the way. When I get home this evening maybe I should go for a long walk and kick some imaginary(?) demon ass.
I lounged quite a bit this weekend, getting some clean up and sorting done as well. Got to the zoo and did some productive character work. With the exception of some script writing work, I did everything I wanted to accomplish around and out of the house over the weekend. All in all I had a very good holiday, getting lots of loafing and tasks completed. Still, I feel restless.
Right now, I'm upset, and grieving more than I would have expected now we've reached 1,000 US casualties in Iraq. This weekend, I was thinking it would happen soon without having any idea what the current body count was, only that it was over 700. We hit the tragic milestone today, I'm a wreck, and that's not it either, so I still feel restless.
I feel like my character work for Rumors is about to crack. The last performance I did was for Meisner, and it didn't crack open until several days before the performance. It is nice to have the feeling a little earlier, though it doesn't change the need to continue spending more time on the work as rehearsals approach. It gives me more time to try wild things and develop the character. I thought this might be the cause for my restlessness. Alas, it is not.
It is an eerie, though not scary place. It is a feeling of being adrift without rescue in sight, like a caffeine buzz without the caffeine. I have felt it many times. Before I could stand up and say, "Hi my name is Scott, and I'm ... An artist," it was a precursor to one of those particularly dark and extended periods of feeling in the dumps. Now I know it means something is going to happen. Good/bad doesn't apply, just something significant which will affect me and provide a challenge of some sort. A time of growth. There is a catch of course. I must be willing to see whatever it is. I don't claim it is precognitive, rather a heightened awareness of something bubbling and churning around in the subconscious. The subconscious -- well I make no claims there.
What a bizarre day. Something dark and nasty came along, and something new and interesting is on the way. When I get home this evening maybe I should go for a long walk and kick some imaginary(?) demon ass.
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