My Goal?
Rachel suggested I answer a blog site where the question was posed, "What is your goal as an actor?" A strange thing happened. Numerous other people in the last week have asked me the same thing including one who asked, "Where are you going with the acting?" For me, the question was identical.
The longer I put it off the more I felt stalled with this blog, which I still treat as a simple journal. I know I am overly verbose, and I kept veering into prose or erudition instead of the actual issue as I wrestled with the question. I finally deleted it all and tried again. Here is what I E-mailed him.
I started writing something much too long. It was logical, well-constructed, etc. Very philosophical, poetical, maybe insightful, maybe beautiful, and long. All it really did was explain why acting is deep and profound for me, which would be indulgent and missing the point of your question. It turns out I have been asked the same thing by you and several people in person the last week. What is my goal? Where do I want to take it?
Bottom line, my goal as an actor is to live. I don't know where I am going with my acting, just where it has taken me. There is one thing that I want never to change, whether I continue to wear myself ragged balancing a day job and theatre, or make acting my day job. To be alive. Without acting my life is a flat line at the nadir of all my moods and a monochromatic existence of the dullest hue imaginable. This may sound philosophical or flowery, though it is something I feel at a very guttural level. I need to have peaks and color to survive. My primary goal as an actor is to maintain that diversity in my life which makes me fully human.
I really don't know where acting will take me. I can't say my goal is to make a living as an Equity and/or SAG actor. No more than I could say that is something I don't want. I no longer have long term goals thanks to acting. Maybe just being open to different opportunities is enough of a secondary goal for me right now.
Really, I've not nailed down a goal except to be open to one. In a related goal I'm reducing my footprint, slowly shedding possessions so I don't feel physically tied down. Continuing the process of improving my craft I suppose is another related goal. The goal of maintaining diversity through acting is true, but I'm thinking it may not be sufficient in and of itself.
The longer I put it off the more I felt stalled with this blog, which I still treat as a simple journal. I know I am overly verbose, and I kept veering into prose or erudition instead of the actual issue as I wrestled with the question. I finally deleted it all and tried again. Here is what I E-mailed him.
I started writing something much too long. It was logical, well-constructed, etc. Very philosophical, poetical, maybe insightful, maybe beautiful, and long. All it really did was explain why acting is deep and profound for me, which would be indulgent and missing the point of your question. It turns out I have been asked the same thing by you and several people in person the last week. What is my goal? Where do I want to take it?
Bottom line, my goal as an actor is to live. I don't know where I am going with my acting, just where it has taken me. There is one thing that I want never to change, whether I continue to wear myself ragged balancing a day job and theatre, or make acting my day job. To be alive. Without acting my life is a flat line at the nadir of all my moods and a monochromatic existence of the dullest hue imaginable. This may sound philosophical or flowery, though it is something I feel at a very guttural level. I need to have peaks and color to survive. My primary goal as an actor is to maintain that diversity in my life which makes me fully human.
I really don't know where acting will take me. I can't say my goal is to make a living as an Equity and/or SAG actor. No more than I could say that is something I don't want. I no longer have long term goals thanks to acting. Maybe just being open to different opportunities is enough of a secondary goal for me right now.
Really, I've not nailed down a goal except to be open to one. In a related goal I'm reducing my footprint, slowly shedding possessions so I don't feel physically tied down. Continuing the process of improving my craft I suppose is another related goal. The goal of maintaining diversity through acting is true, but I'm thinking it may not be sufficient in and of itself.
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