Living Through Your Passion
With all the philosophical ideas and thoughts going through my being as I finished up Meisner and the play I had a small epiphany over the last few days. I am living life through my own passions. I lived my life vicariously from the time I was six or seven. I talked of my maternal uncles, the coolest a kid could have, and later of things I'd seen or people I knew. I experienced life directly a few times in flight school, and in college. Still, my life was defined as something outside of myself. All meaning came from my close friends and close relatives, of which there were not many.
When I took the risks which led me down the artistic and social paths I am now on I didn't expect this. I organize events, have groups over, rejoicing in those that can come rather than worrying about who doesn't show. Some people see me as outgoing and some respect me as an artist. Two profound and very surprising developments.
I love irony, especially as I experience it. The idea of focusing inward, finding your passions and living them out seemed an even smaller world until I 'indulged' my selfishness. I like to create and I like to act the host on occasion. In letting myself do it I suddenly started enjoying everything. More friendships; a greater number, more rich, meaningful, and important. For example, right now I am enjoying the sound of small children's voices outside my kitchen window. I love the tone and lilt of those little voices.
Living through your passions opens up the whole world. I feel pain about injustices, laugh with life, taking the bad with the good. Turning inward, finding the spark within, and the outside is finally let in and embraced. Therein lies the lovely irony. Turning inward in an open and truthful way brings the world in with you. I don't think this will make sense to anyone else.
I have learned I cannot live life through anyone else, and I don't want anyone else to live through me. A burden which weakens both. You get and receive more in any relationship when you can simply share without either serving as a life proxy.
When I took the risks which led me down the artistic and social paths I am now on I didn't expect this. I organize events, have groups over, rejoicing in those that can come rather than worrying about who doesn't show. Some people see me as outgoing and some respect me as an artist. Two profound and very surprising developments.
I love irony, especially as I experience it. The idea of focusing inward, finding your passions and living them out seemed an even smaller world until I 'indulged' my selfishness. I like to create and I like to act the host on occasion. In letting myself do it I suddenly started enjoying everything. More friendships; a greater number, more rich, meaningful, and important. For example, right now I am enjoying the sound of small children's voices outside my kitchen window. I love the tone and lilt of those little voices.
Living through your passions opens up the whole world. I feel pain about injustices, laugh with life, taking the bad with the good. Turning inward, finding the spark within, and the outside is finally let in and embraced. Therein lies the lovely irony. Turning inward in an open and truthful way brings the world in with you. I don't think this will make sense to anyone else.
I have learned I cannot live life through anyone else, and I don't want anyone else to live through me. A burden which weakens both. You get and receive more in any relationship when you can simply share without either serving as a life proxy.
1 Comments:
I love that -- "Turning inward in an open and truthful way brings the world in with you." I notice when I get most lost, I am turning outward. It is, as you say, by turning inward that I refind my shining ground, and the rest of the sweet world.
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