Acting Up

My musings, thoughts, rants, and discoveries. - Scott Maddock

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Location: Redmond, Washington, U.S. Inc. (Formerly U.S.A.)

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I haven't blogged here since 2012. Why am I making a stab at it again?

I realized two things about social media I wanted to get away from. First was that I was often using it as a journal, which is boring and maybe TMI for those platforms. Secondly I was using it too much for my taste, so that I felt like a tool for marketers rather than using social media as a tool for my ends.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Put Upon

Mom met me in the lobby. She'd called just before I left to tell me it was an emergency and I had to come down right away, so I told her I was planning to come by anyway. She felt the caretakers were manhandling and not listening to her. There is a long history in my experience that she fumes about things, until imaginings take on reality, complicated by a Romney-esque belief that everyone else in the world is her personal servant. I tried to kindly remind her that she is sometimes unreasonable and mean to people. "Remember Mom if you are not nice to people sometimes they respond in kind. They shouldn't, but sometimes they do." A bit of back and forth on that, but she acknowledged the possibility, as I acknoweldged she might be right. Reality is somewhere in between I'm sure.

I told her I would follow up with the staff and her Hospice coordinator to check up on things and to get her more pain medication. She has been very light on meds the last few years as compared to most of her adult life. I did get in touch with Danielle from Hospice the following day who said she'd follow up, and had already. I'd also talked to Sharon at the front desk. Mom thought there were new staff people, which is not the case, but Sharon was quite concerned about the feeling she was being manhandled and ignored. My personal take? Well, I think people did get impatient with her -- I don't spend as anywhere near as much time with her and I get impatient. Still, the staff and myself followed up as you don't want to find that you ignored something the one time it was real.

She was experiencing a lot of pain, and it sounds like the pain is moving around. She was talking of the tumor(s) like they were moving from place to place. It is hard to see her in pain, as there is nothing I can do about it. Between the pain and the medications I expect the lucid periods will become shorter and less frequent.

I reminded her we'd be getting together during the weekend because Terrie was coming up from Vancouver so we could have the reunion with all her kids she'd asked for.

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Blogger B.D. said...

Pain care has been a method of great debate of recent years. One side says that if the dying is diagnosed then it should not matter what amount of pain care the individual should get - even if it hastens death. Another side suggests that it would be ethically immoral if pain care either hastens death or addicts the person to the medication. I fall in the former camp. May you, your family, and your mom find your way peacefully through this time.

5:15 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Thank you B.D. I'm also in the former camp -- addiction is not a concern and the meds will probably give her more time where she is present. Making me think that the calendar span might be a tiny bit short, but the amount of actual life more.

5:19 PM  

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